It Is Not Time That Changes Us… It Is the Lessons Life Teaches Us!
It is not time that changes us...
It is the lessons taught to us by the people we have met and known throughout our lives.
Every wound is a lesson...
Every disappointment is a new beginning...
Every failure is a stepping stone towards tomorrow’s success...
And after passing through all of these,
our journey must continue.
At first glance, these words may appear to be nothing more than ordinary advice about the bitter experiences we encounter in life.
But when we pause and reflect a little more deeply, we begin to discover a profound spiritual truth hidden within them.
Life does not always give us what we want.
Sometimes, it makes us lose people whom we deeply wished to have in our lives.
Sometimes, we are deceived by those we trusted.
Sometimes, we work hard and still face failure.
Sometimes, we give love but do not receive love in return.
Sometimes, even our good intentions are misunderstood.
And then we ask:
“Why is this happening only to me?”
But the spiritual journey truly begins when we move from asking,
“Why did this happen to me?”
to asking,
“What can I learn from this?”
That is transformation.
What Is Spirituality?
When we hear the word “spirituality,” many people immediately form a certain image in their minds.
Someone dressed in saffron...
Someone who has gone into the forest to meditate...
Someone who spends long hours in a temple...
Someone who has renounced worldly life...
We tend to think that these are the people who are truly spiritual.
But in reality, spirituality is not about running away from life.
Spirituality is about understanding life and learning how to live it.
A person can live with a family and still be deeply spiritual.
A father who wakes up every morning and works hard for his family can be spiritual.
A mother who sacrifices her own desires for the wellbeing of her family can be spiritual.
A worker who performs his duties honestly can be spiritual.
An ordinary person who quietly helps someone without seeking recognition can be spiritual.
A person who controls his words even when anger rises within him can be spiritual.
A person who chooses not to take revenge on someone who deceived him, but instead learns from the experience and continues walking his own path, can be spiritual.
Therefore,
spirituality is not about withdrawing from the world; it is about living within the world while continuously elevating ourselves.
The People Around Us Are Our Teachers
Not every person who enters our life comes to be our friend.
Some come to love us.
Some come to test us.
Some come to lift us up.
Some cause us to fall.
Some hold our hands and walk beside us.
Others let go of our hands so that we may learn to walk on our own.
Yet every one of them leaves us with something to learn.
The person who loved us teaches us love.
The person who deceived us teaches us caution.
The person who left us teaches us independence.
The person who criticised us teaches us the wisdom to examine ourselves.
The person who belittled us teaches us the value of self-respect.
The person who forgave us teaches us compassion.
Therefore, we should not simply divide everyone who entered our lives into two categories—good people and bad people.
Some are gifts.
Some are lessons.
And we need both in life.
Every Wound Is a Lesson
When we are wounded, there is pain.
A physical wound takes time to heal.
In the same way, a wound of the heart also needs time.
But there is something important we must understand about emotional wounds.
Healing does not simply mean forgetting the wound.
True healing begins when we understand what that wound came to teach us.
If someone deceived us, deciding that we should never trust anyone again is not wisdom.
Instead, learning that
“Trust must be accompanied by discernment”
is wisdom.
If someone leaves us, it is wrong to conclude,
“No one will ever love me.”
Instead, understanding that
“I should not seek my completeness solely through the presence of another person”
is spiritual growth.
Disappointment Is Not the End
Disappointment is one of life’s most difficult teachers.
We are sincere with someone, and we naturally expect them to be sincere with us.
But sometimes that expectation is shattered.
Then the mind asks:
“Why was I so good to them?”
There is a profound life lesson hidden here.
We should not be good because we expect others to be good to us in return.
Doing good should be part of our character; expecting something in return turns goodness into a transaction.
So, continue to do good.
But reduce your expectations.
Give love.
But do not surrender your entire peace to another person.
Forgive.
But you do not have to allow the same mistake to be repeated against you.
That is spiritual maturity.
Failure Is Not a Verdict on Your Life
Failure in an examination.
Failure in a business.
Failure in a relationship.
Failure in an attempt.
None of these can define the complete worth of a human being.
Failure is not life declaring,
“You are a failed person.”
It is life saying,
“There is still something for you to learn on this path.”
When a child learns to walk, the child falls.
If the child stopped trying because of falling, the child would never learn to walk.
Life is the same.
Falling is not the mistake.
Remaining where you fell is the mistake.
It Is Not Time That Changes Us
We often say,
“Time changes everything.”
But in reality, time alone does not change us.
Two people of the same age may go through similar experiences and yet become completely different human beings.
Why?
The experience may be the same.
But the way we understand that experience can be different.
One person may break under suffering.
Another may discover strength through the very same suffering.
One person may begin to hate everyone after being deceived.
Another may learn to understand people more deeply because of the same experience.
One person may lose confidence after failure.
Another may use failure as an opportunity to correct and improve themselves.
Therefore, it is not time that changes us.
It is the truths we learn as we travel through time.
Family Life Itself Is a School of Spirituality
We do not have to go somewhere in search of spirituality.
Our own home can be a spiritual school.
The relationship between husband and wife teaches us patience.
Children teach us responsibility.
Parents teach us gratitude.
Siblings teach us sharing.
Neighbours teach us tolerance.
Our workplace teaches us discipline and responsibility.
Society teaches us to understand the many different natures of human beings.
Then where is spirituality absent?
Spirituality exists wherever we live with awareness.
A Life of High Moral Standards Is Also Spirituality
Going to a temple is spiritual.
But coming out of the temple and refusing to cheat another person is also spiritual.
Praying is spiritual.
But refusing to wish harm even upon someone who has hurt us is also spiritual.
Chanting a mantra is spiritual.
But controlling our tongue when anger rises within us is also spiritual.
Giving charity is spiritual.
But treating someone who asks us for help with dignity is also spiritual.
Meditation is spiritual.
But seeking inner peace amidst the chaos of everyday life is also spiritual.
In truth,
the way we live is the greatest evidence of how spiritual we truly are.
Our conduct should be greater than our rituals.
Our character should be greater than our prayers.
Our humanity should be greater than our knowledge.
Spirituality Is Also the Art of Observing Ourselves
It is very easy to think that we need to correct everyone in the world.
But observing and correcting ourselves is much harder.
“He did this.”
“She said that.”
“They did not understand me.”
We can spend our entire lives talking about other people.
But one day, we must sit quietly with ourselves and ask:
“What am I doing?”
Where does my anger come from?
Why are my expectations so high?
Why does my mind constantly compare itself with others?
When does my ego feel wounded?
What is my fear trying to hide?
When we begin to enter into these questions, our true spiritual journey begins.
Forgiveness Does Not Mean Forgetting
When we speak about forgiving those who have hurt us, many people misunderstand what forgiveness means.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened.
It does not mean trusting the same person in exactly the same way again.
Forgiveness means telling ourselves:
“I do not accept what you did, but I am not willing to carry the poison of what you did inside my heart forever.”
Forgiveness does not first set the other person free.
It sets us free.
We cannot leave the door of the past wide open and expect to live peacefully in the present.
We Must Continue Our Journey Beyond Everything
Life does not stop.
Whether someone comes into our life, life continues.
Whether someone leaves, life continues.
Whether success arrives, life continues.
Whether failure arrives, life continues.
Even after tears, morning comes.
Even after darkness, the sun rises again.
Nature teaches us a great spiritual lesson every day:
Nothing is permanent.
Suffering is not permanent.
Happiness is not permanent.
Failure is not permanent.
Success is not permanent.
Change is the only constant in life.
So, if there is darkness in our lives today, we should not assume that it will remain forever.
If our hearts are broken today, we should not decide that tomorrow will be the same.
Life still has many more pages to turn.
Our Journey Is Our Own
The moment we stop comparing our lives with the lives of others, a great peace begins to arise within us.
Their success is their path.
Their failure is their lesson.
Their life is their journey.
We have a path of our own.
More important than how far we have travelled is the direction in which we are travelling.
If we are a little better today than we were yesterday, that is enough.
If we are a little more patient today, that is enough.
If we are a little less angry today, that is enough.
If we have helped someone a little more today than we did yesterday, that is enough.
That itself is spiritual progress.
What Will We Ultimately Take With Us?
One day, this journey of life will come to an end.
The wealth we accumulated will remain here.
The house we bought will remain here.
The position we held will remain here.
The fame we gathered will remain here.
But the way we lived, the love we left in the hearts of others, the good we did, and the humanity we showed—these will remain as the true footprints of our lives.
Therefore, at the end of life, the question,
“How much did I gain?”
will matter far less than,
“How much did I grow into a better human being?”
That is the essence of spirituality.
Let Us Shape Ourselves
If someone has hurt you in life, do not turn that wound into hatred.
Turn it into wisdom.
If someone has deceived you, do not turn that disappointment into distrust of everyone.
Turn it into discernment.
If failure has come your way, do not turn it into an inferiority complex.
Turn it into experience.
If someone has left you, do not see that separation only as emptiness.
Perhaps it was an opportunity that brought you face to face with yourself.
Life will not always give us everything in the way we want.
But within every experience it gives us, there is a seed.
It is our responsibility to understand that seed and help it grow.
Compassion can be born from a wound.
Self-confidence can be born from failure.
Discernment can be born from disappointment.
Self-awareness can be born from loneliness.
Detachment can be born from loss.
Wisdom can be born from silence.
Therefore, when life breaks us, instead of asking only,
“Why is this breaking me?”
let us also ask,
“Into what form is life reshaping me?”
That is the spiritual way of looking at life.
We do not have to be spiritual every time we go to a temple.
But a day on which we speak lovingly to someone at home can be a spiritual day.
A day on which we control our anger can be a spiritual day.
A day on which we forgive someone can be a spiritual day.
A day on which we share what we have can be a spiritual day.
A day on which we admit our mistake can be a spiritual day.
And a day on which we live as a slightly better human being than we were yesterday—
that is a truly spiritual day.
Therefore, do not reject life in search of spirituality.
Transform life itself into your spiritual path.
See your family as an ashram.
See your work as a duty.
See your relationships as opportunities to learn.
See suffering as a teacher.
See happiness as a blessing.
See failure as a lesson.
See success as a responsibility.
Before judging people, try to understand them.
Before hating yourself, try to understand yourself.
Then, one day, we will realise:
It was not time that changed us.
It was the people we encountered through time,
the experiences they brought into our lives,
the lessons we learned from those experiences,
and the awareness that arose within us because of those lessons
that truly transformed us.
That is why—
Every wound is a lesson...
Every disappointment is a new beginning...
Every failure is a seed of tomorrow’s success...
No matter how many times life tests us,
we do not have to stop.
We may break...
but we can gather ourselves and become whole again.
We may cry...
but we can wipe away our tears and walk again.
We may fail...
but we can create a new version of ourselves from that failure.
Because,
life is not merely a collection of the events that happened to us;
it is the story of the kind of human beings we became after those events.
And writing that story beautifully is in our own hands.
May the journey continue...
May the mind become clear...
May experiences become wisdom...
May wisdom become love...
May love become spirituality...
And may spirituality become our way of everyday living.
With love,
Sakthi Sakthithasan
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