What Is True Abundance? Is It Only About Money?

What Is True Abundance? Is It Only About Money?

We all wish to experience greater abundance in our lives.

We want our efforts to succeed, our income to grow, our families to enjoy greater comforts, our children to achieve good things in life, and our future to be secure.

These are all natural desires that most of us share.

When we wake up in the morning, we think about the tasks ahead of us. At the beginning of each month, we look at our income and expenses. Whenever we embark on a new venture, we wonder whether it will succeed.

We dream of building a home, buying a vehicle, providing our children with a good education and enjoying a peaceful retirement. We nurture many such dreams within ourselves.

All these things are part of life.

But there is an important question we need to pause and reflect upon.

Is abundance in life simply about the money we earn and the possessions we accumulate?

A person may have plenty of money.

They may own a beautiful house.

They may drive an expensive car.

They may have the means to travel to different parts of the world.

But if they cannot find peace of mind when they lie down to sleep at night, what real benefit do all those comforts bring them?

At the same time, we see people who may not possess great wealth, yet sit down with their families, share a meal, exchange affectionate words and enjoy whatever they have.

There is a sense of fulfilment in their lives.

What should we understand from this?

Money is essential for life.

But money alone does not determine the happiness and fulfilment we experience.

Abundance is not merely about having more money; it is also about developing a greater capacity to enjoy life.

Let us consider a simple everyday experience.

When we leave home in the morning, we hope it will not rain.

But unexpectedly, it starts raining.

Our plans are immediately disrupted.

For some, this brings irritation and frustration.

Others, however, may simply enjoy the rain.

It is the same rain, yet the minds experiencing it respond differently.

Life is much the same.

Some opportunities come along the way we expect.

Others arrive through completely unexpected paths.

A task we had carefully planned may not succeed.

But another door may open in its place.

We have seen people who, because they did not get the job they wanted, entered a different field and eventually achieved great success.

Some have found wonderful friendships through an unexpected encounter.

Others have discovered hidden talents within themselves because of a failure they once experienced.

That is when we begin to understand something important: the paths we expect are not the only paths life has to offer.

Therefore, we must continue making our efforts. At the same time, we should develop the maturity to recognise and welcome good opportunities when they arrive unexpectedly.

Sometimes, we struggle endlessly to open one particular door.

Yet life may already have opened another door for us.

We must be willing to turn around and look.

That is one of the ways abundance grows in our lives.

Now let us reflect on our desire to express our thoughts and abilities.

Every human being has some talent within them.

Some can sing.

Some can write.

Some have a natural ability to speak kindly and connect with others.

Others have an instinctive desire to help whenever they see someone suffering.

Yet, quite often, we hesitate to express our thoughts and talents.

"Can I really do it?"

"What will others think of me?"

"What if my efforts do not succeed?"

We keep asking ourselves these questions and end up postponing even the things we should have started long ago.

Think of a small plant.

Within that tiny plant lies the potential to grow into a mighty tree.

But to grow, it needs soil, water and sunlight.

In the same way, the talents within us need the right effort, opportunities and self-confidence to blossom.

We need the courage to turn our thoughts into action.

We may not achieve everything we dream of. But if we never make an attempt, we may never even discover the extent of the abilities hidden within us.

Therefore, the desire to see our thoughts and ideas take shape is not merely a wish.

It is an acknowledgement of the potential that already exists within us.

At the same time, we should never forget that there are experiences money alone cannot buy, yet which enrich our lives immensely.

Think of the moment when a little child holds our finger for the very first time and begins to walk.

What price could we possibly put on that moment?

What shop could sell us the joy of meeting an old friend after many years, only to be greeted with a warm smile and an affectionate embrace?

What price could we place on the loving welcome of our family when we return home after a tiring day at work?

The happiness of suddenly hearing a song we have cherished for years on the radio, the sweet memories that return when we look at an old photograph, or the peaceful pleasure of sipping a cup of tea early in the morning while listening to the birds sing...

These are all experiences that enrich our lives.

None of them can be bought in exactly the same way with money.

We can buy a beautiful house with money.

But we cannot buy the loving relationships that make that house a home.

We can buy an expensive bed.

But we cannot buy a peaceful night's sleep.

We can buy food.

But we cannot always buy the good health and inner contentment that allow us to enjoy it.

We can travel around the world.

But we must have a mind that is able to appreciate and enjoy the beauty of the places we visit.

That is why we should give special value to the experiences, relationships and emotions that life offers us.

What makes life abundant is not simply what we possess, but also how we experience and enjoy what we already have.

There is another important aspect we should consider.

We all wish to have enough resources to live comfortably.

That is a perfectly reasonable desire.

Every person should have sufficient income to meet basic needs such as food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, family responsibilities, children's education and future security.

There is no need to glorify poverty. Nor should we regard money as something bad.

Money can help us solve many problems.

It can enable us to live without having to depend on others.

It can also give us the means to help ourselves and others when the need arises.

But here, we need to understand a small yet important distinction.

Money is necessary to live comfortably. But peace of mind is equally necessary to live happily.

Some people may already have all the comforts they need.

Yet they constantly look at what others possess.

When their neighbour buys a new car, they feel they must buy one too.

When a friend builds a large house, they want to build an even bigger one.

When someone goes on a foreign holiday, they immediately feel the need to travel somewhere themselves.

If we keep comparing our lives with those of others, no matter how much we possess, it will never seem enough.

Because there is no end to comparison.

There will always be someone who is better off than us.

Likewise, there will always be someone who, despite having far fewer comforts, lives with greater contentment.

Therefore, we should understand our own needs, strive to improve our circumstances as much as we reasonably can, and learn to enjoy what we already have.

That is the path towards contentment.

This is where we begin to understand the importance of gratitude.

We spend so much time thinking about what we do not have.

But we often forget to appreciate what is already ours.

We wake up in the morning.

We speak to the people we love.

We eat our meals.

We attend to our daily responsibilities.

We return home in the evening.

At night, we prepare ourselves for a peaceful sleep.

These may all seem like ordinary events in our everyday lives.

But when we are confined to bed because of ill health, we realise what a blessing it is simply to be able to walk on our own two feet.

When someone who spoke to us every day suddenly passes away, we realise how deeply we long even to hear their voice once more.

Even an ordinary evening that we once passed by without much thought can, after some years, become a precious memory.

There is a simple truth here.

We do not have to wait until we lose something before realising its value.

We can learn to appreciate its worth while it is still with us.

The love of our life partner, the affection of our children, the laughter of our grandchildren, the friendship of those close to us, the concern shown by our relatives, a good book, a favourite song, or the cool evening breeze...

All these are beautiful blessings already blossoming around us.

To see them, we need more than just eyes. We also need a heart that can feel and appreciate them.

Gratitude does not mean boasting about what we have.

It means learning to appreciate what is already in our lives instead of constantly longing for what is missing.

Likewise, gratitude does not mean giving up our desire to achieve new goals.

It means continuing our efforts to build a better life while also accepting and enjoying what today has already given us.

This is what creates balance in our lives.

Now let us look a little more deeply at an important thought:

"There is a magnificent richness in life that goes far beyond anything we can measure."

We can calculate how much money we have.

We can estimate the value of our homes.

We can check the savings in our bank accounts.

We can count the possessions we have accumulated.

But how can we measure the depth of someone's love?

What value can we place on the concern shown by a friend who comes looking for us during a difficult time?

What price can we put on the heart of someone who understands and forgives us even when we make mistakes?

A mother's love, a father's dedication, the companionship of a life partner, a child's smile, or the voice of someone who lovingly enquires about our well-being in our later years...

On what scale can we measure these things?

They are all priceless treasures.

When we look back on our lives after many years, it is often the memories of the people who shared our journey that come to mind more readily than the list of things we purchased.

We may find that what matters more is not the kind of house we lived in, but the kind of love we shared within it.

Rather than how much money we earned, what stays with us is how much happiness we created for ourselves and those who depended on us through the resources we had.

Rather than how many places we visited, what we remember most are the beautiful experiences we gathered along the way.

That is where the true richness of life lies.

So, my dear friends!

May we all live lives of abundance.

May we receive an income that reflects our hard work.

May new opportunities knock on our doors.

May our good thoughts blossom into meaningful actions.

May we have the financial means to fulfil the needs of our families.

At the same time, let us not become so busy chasing money that we lose sight of life itself.

Let us make time to talk to the people we love.

Let us make an effort to visit and meet our friends.

Let us enjoy the beauty of nature.

Let us spend time doing the things we love.

Let us find happiness in helping others.

Let us share whatever we can with those around us.

Instead of spending today regretting what we did not receive yesterday, let us enjoy what we have been given today.

Let us work towards making tomorrow even better.

But let us not waste today while waiting for tomorrow to arrive.

Because life is not found only in the goals we hope to achieve tomorrow.

It is also found in every little moment we are experiencing today.

May abundance flow into our lives through both the paths we expect and those we never anticipated.

May good opportunities arise from our efforts.

May we receive the wealth necessary to live comfortably.

May we also be blessed with the peace of mind to enjoy what we have received.

And may our gratitude grow, enabling us to recognise the beauty that is already blossoming all around us.

Finally, let each one of us ask ourselves a question:

Am I constantly thinking only about what more I need to acquire?

Or have I already begun to enjoy the beautiful life that has been given to me?

I believe that the answer to this question can make our journey through life even more beautiful.

Remember...

A person who possesses more is not necessarily the only wealthy person.

Those who recognise and appreciate what they have, understand the love of others, share whatever they can with those around them, and live with peace of mind...

They too are truly wealthy people!

Money may give us a comfortable life.

But it is love, peace, experience and gratitude that transform that life into something truly beautiful.

With affection,
Sakthi Sakthithasan

Love Is Not a Flower That Fades; It Is a Plant That Keeps Blooming

Love Is Not a Flower That Fades; It Is a Plant That Keeps Blooming

Some thoughts pass through our minds, leaving behind a gentle smile.

Other thoughts make us pause for a moment and reflect on our own lives.

Today, I would like to share a few thoughts of that kind with you.

Look at a flower. It blossoms, spreads its fragrance and brings us joy.

But after a few days, it withers and falls.

However, if we nurture and protect the plant that produces that flower, it will continue to bloom again and again.

Love in our hearts should not exist merely as flowers that bloom and fade; it should be like a plant that keeps producing flowers throughout its life.

This is a thought I particularly cherish.

After all, showing someone affection for just one day is not difficult. It is the ability to express that affection consistently that reflects our true character.

It is easy to create a circle of people whom we like, who appreciate us and who show us affection, and share our love only within that circle.

But the true depth of our love becomes evident when we are able to treat with humanity even those who do not understand us properly, those who fail to appreciate our affection, and sometimes even those who have hurt us.

At the same time, there is something we must understand.

Showing love does not mean losing ourselves.

Loving someone does not mean enduring everything silently.

We can show affection towards someone without sacrificing our self-respect.

We can love someone without allowing them to repeatedly hurt us.

Love is the natural expression of our hearts.

Establishing boundaries to protect that love is the responsibility of our wisdom.

Never abandon love, but never allow yourself to be hurt in the name of love either.

Another thought concerns what we choose to fill our minds with.

Whatever we pour into a vessel is what eventually comes out of it.

If we fill it with water, water comes out. If we fill it with milk, milk comes out.

The human mind works in much the same way.

If we constantly fill our minds with jealousy, anger, thoughts of revenge, criticism of others and unnecessary comparisons, these emotions will inevitably find their way into our words and actions.

On the other hand, if we cultivate positive thoughts, noble ambitions, a willingness to help others, gratitude and humanity within ourselves, these qualities will naturally be reflected in our actions.

We do not have to change the entire world to achieve this.

All we need to do is begin by observing what is happening within our own minds.

What is the first thought that enters our minds when we wake up in the morning?

Is it the thought that we must compete with someone once again today?

Is it the desire to retaliate against someone for something they said yesterday?

Or is it the thought that we should try to bring a little happiness into someone's life today, in whatever way we can?

That small change in our thinking can transform the entire course of our day.

Every person we meet is fighting a battle of their own.

We have no idea how many worries may be hidden behind the smile of someone standing before us.

Therefore, a little gentleness in our words and a little understanding in our approach can make someone's entire day brighter.

We do not need money to speak a kind word.

We do not need any special qualification to listen to someone's worries.

We do not need great wealth or resources to offer a little help to someone.

When our minds are filled with good thoughts, opportunities to turn those thoughts into meaningful actions are already waiting all around us.

Let us now consider another aspect of life.

How many days do we actually live without worries?

Just when one worry comes to an end, another seems to appear.

As soon as we find a solution to one problem, another comes knocking at our door.

Some worries arise from our own mistakes.

Some are caused by the actions of others.

Yet others emerge from circumstances beyond our control.

What matters, however, is how we choose to handle them.

A simple imaginary illustration comes to my mind.

Think about the handkerchief we use every day.

When dust settles on it, we shake it off and use it again.

In the same way, we must learn to shake off the unnecessary worries that accumulate in our minds from time to time.

But what about happy memories? How do we preserve them?

Just as carefully as we protect the pen in our shirt pocket, we should preserve our beautiful memories with even greater care in our hearts.

The little help someone once offered us, the laughter shared with a friend, the happy moments spent with family, the affection of someone who came looking for us just to ask how we were, or an unexpected word of appreciation — we have so many precious memories.

But what actually happens?

Even if ten people have praised us, we keep remembering the one bitter remark made by a single person.

Even when many people have treated us with affection, we continue carrying the pain of being ignored by just one person.

We forget a hundred incidents that brought us happiness, yet give permanent space in our hearts to one incident that hurt us.

Is that fair?

We cannot change what happened in the past.

But we can change the importance we give to that incident today.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened.

Its true meaning is refusing to allow that incident to continue stealing our peace of mind.

Let some memories make us smile.

Let some memories teach us valuable lessons.

But let no memory occupy our present lives so completely that we lose the joy of living today.

Do not carry yesterday's wounds so heavily that you miss today's happiness.

Now, let us turn to a thought about the rose and its thorns, which I particularly like in this reflection.

When some people look at a rose plant, they first notice its beautiful flowers.

Others notice the thorns surrounding them.

Both are looking at the very same plant.

But their perspectives are different.

One person asks, "Why are there so many thorns surrounding such a beautiful flower?"

Another admires it and says, "How beautifully this flower has blossomed even amidst all these thorns!"

The rose plant has not changed.

Its thorns have not changed either.

The only thing that has changed is the perspective of the person looking at it.

The same thing happens in our lives.

One person may look at the comforts and privileges enjoyed by another and become jealous.

But they rarely think about the difficulties that person may have overcome to achieve those comforts.

We admire someone's success.

But we often fail to notice the failures, tears and long periods of waiting behind that success.

When we become unhappy thinking about what we do not have, we forget the many wonderful things that are already part of our lives.

Thinking constantly about what we lack diminishes our happiness.

Learning to recognise and appreciate what we already have increases it.

I am not suggesting that we should view every hardship in life as something beautiful.

Pain is pain. Loss is loss. Disappointment is disappointment.

Denying these realities, or simply telling someone who is suffering to keep smiling, is not the right approach.

However, we can learn not to allow those painful experiences to imprison our entire lives. Instead, we can develop the inner strength to move beyond them.

A failure does not always come merely to bring us down.

Sometimes it makes us reconsider the path we have chosen.

A separation does not always happen merely to leave us lonely.

Sometimes it gives us an opportunity to understand ourselves better.

A disappointment does not have to break us permanently.

Sometimes it teaches us how much we should expect from different people.

Not every experience in life brings us happiness.

But we can learn something from every experience.

Developing that maturity is one of the ways to truly experience life.

My dear friends!

When we bring all these thoughts about life together, a simple truth becomes clear.

The quality of our lives is not determined solely by the comforts and conveniences we enjoy.

It is also shaped by the thoughts we nurture within ourselves, the love we express towards others and the perspective with which we approach the events of our lives.

We may not receive love from everyone.

But we can share love with as many people as we can.

We may not be able to prevent worries from entering our lives.

But we can learn not to turn them into permanent burdens.

We do not have to remove every thorn before we appreciate a rose.

We can learn to recognise the beauty of a flower blooming even amidst its thorns.

There is just one thought I would like to share with today's younger generation, based on my own life experiences.

Do not always look at life as a problem to be solved.

Life is a precious opportunity meant to be experienced and enjoyed.

Cultivate love in your hearts.

Fill your thoughts with goodness.

Learn to let go of unnecessary memories that cause you pain.

Begin to appreciate the things you already have.

Above all, never compare your life with someone else's.

Everyone has a different path.

Everyone moves at a different pace.

Everyone has a different set of experiences.

Instead, occasionally look back and see how far you have progressed along your own path.

If you can become even a slightly better human being today than you were yesterday, that itself is a tremendous achievement.

Flowers may wither, but let the plant continue to bloom.

Worries may come, but do not lose your happiness.

Thorns may exist, but never forget the beauty of the rose.

Do not carry life as though it were a heavy burden.

Learn to enjoy its beauty, its experiences and the love it offers.

Because life is not simply about allowing the days to pass.

It is about discovering the meaning of life in every passing day.

You too can do it!

YOU CAN DO IT!

With affection, 

Sakthi Sakthithasan

Do Not Fight the Ego; Simply Understand the Stories It Tells!

Do Not Fight the Ego; Simply Understand the Stories It Tells!

Sometimes, when we take a closer look at ourselves, we begin to realise something quite surprising.

In many situations in life, it is not the events themselves that become our greatest burden, but rather the stories our minds create around those events.

When someone does not smile at us, we assume they do not like us.

When someone interrupts us while we are speaking, we feel that we have not been given the respect we deserve.

When someone disagrees with an opinion we express, we become upset, believing that they are undermining our intelligence or ability.

When someone achieves a higher position in life than we have, instead of being happy for them, we begin to feel troubled by our own circumstances.

This is where the play of the ego begins.

The actual event may be just one simple occurrence.

But our minds create numerous stories around it.

We become trapped in those stories and end up hurting ourselves.

### What Exactly Is the Ego?

Whenever we hear the word ego, we tend to think of people who behave arrogantly and show little respect for others.

But the ego is far more subtle than that.

What will others think of me?

Have they accepted my opinion?

Am I receiving the respect I deserve?

Am I being valued less than others?

Are people recognising my presence?

When such thoughts arise within us, they may be driven by an imagined story we have created about ourselves.

I must be a certain kind of person.

Others must see me in a particular way.

Nobody should take away the position I deserve.

People must give importance to my opinions.

In this way, we gradually create an image of ourselves within our minds.

Whenever we feel that someone has threatened that image, anger arises.

Disappointment follows.

Resentment takes hold.

But pause for a moment and think.

Can we control what other people think about us?

Can we conduct every action in such a way that everyone will appreciate us?

Can we make everyone in the world behave according to our expectations?

We know the answer is no.

Yet, how much of our mental energy is spent struggling over precisely those things that are beyond our control!

### Why Should We Fight the Ego?

This is where Advaita offers us a rather different understanding.

It suggests that there is no need to treat the ego as an enemy and wage a battle against it.

After all, even the ego that we are trying to destroy is, in many ways, a mental construct created through our own thoughts.

Let us consider an example.

Suppose someone criticises us.

Immediately, a sense of uneasiness arises within us.

What have I done wrong?

Why should that person speak to me like this?

They have formed a wrong impression of me!

Our minds begin raising one question after another.

If there is truth in the criticism, we can learn from it and make the necessary corrections.

If there is no truth in it, we can calmly let it pass.

But most of the time, we do neither.

We keep replaying those words in our minds.

We conduct imaginary conversations, thinking about how we should have responded or how we could give that person an appropriate reply.

The conversation taking place inside our minds often hurts us far more than the actual incident itself.

Here, there is no need to defeat the ego.

Simply recognising that anger has arisen within us is enough to begin with.

There is a subtle difference between recognising, I am experiencing anger, and allowing ourselves to become completely identified with that anger.

It is in that small space that awareness begins.

### What We Try to Control Can End Up Controlling Us!

Let us look at another situation from our everyday lives.

When our children do not behave in the way we expect, we become disappointed.

We have expectations about how they should study, how they should speak and what kind of lives they should choose to lead.

Our intention is usually to guide them towards what we believe is best, based on our own life experiences.

There is nothing wrong with that.

But why does our mind become so disturbed when they make decisions that differ from our expectations?

Is it simply because we do not agree with their decisions?

Or is it because we feel hurt that they are not listening to us?

There is a significant difference between the two.

Guiding someone out of love is one thing.

Trying to control their life according to our own wishes is quite another.

Sometimes, the ego can even disguise itself in the name of love.

When we understand this, instead of constantly trying to change others, we may begin to make an effort to understand them.

### Recognising That We Are Not Our Thoughts

Here is another familiar experience.

Even after going to bed at night, something that happened during the day refuses to leave our minds.

A word spoken by someone, an action taken by another person, or a decision we should perhaps have made differently keeps returning to our thoughts.

Our bodies are resting, but our minds refuse to rest.

What should we do at such moments?

Should we try to force our thoughts to stop?

Should we fight against them?

Or should we simply observe them calmly, recognising that they are thoughts that arise and eventually disappear?

Just as clouds appear and disappear across the sky, thoughts come and go within our minds.

Clouds do not create the sky. They simply appear in it and eventually pass away.

In the same way, thoughts arise and disappear within our awareness.

One moment, anger appears.

Another moment, love arises.

Sometimes there is fear.

At other times, there is happiness.

Within us, there is an awareness that observes all these experiences.

Recognising this awareness is what truly matters here.

We do not have to prevent thoughts from arising.

We simply need to learn not to identify ourselves completely with them.

### Our True Nature of Being

This brings us to the deeper meaning behind this reflection.

When someone asks us who we are, we usually respond with our name, relationships, profession, age, achievements and failures.

We live with many identities.

I am a father, a mother, a husband, a wife, a friend or a professional.

All these are important aspects of our lives.

But beyond all these identities, who are we, the ones who are aware of them?

Our thoughts change.

Our emotions change.

Our bodies change.

Our age changes.

The circumstances of our lives keep changing.

Yet, we are aware of all these changes.

It is this awareness that Advaita invites us to recognise.

To understand this, we do not have to withdraw from life.

We do not have to renounce our families.

We do not have to reject our relationships.

Nor do we have to abandon our worldly responsibilities.

Instead, while remaining fully engaged in all these aspects of life, we can gradually free ourselves from unnecessary struggles created by the identities our minds have constructed.

If someone appreciates us, we can be happy.

If they do not, there is no need to believe that our worth has diminished.

If someone loves us, we can reciprocate that love.

If they do not, we can respect their choice too.

If we make a mistake, we can acknowledge it.

If we succeed, we can celebrate.

If we fail, we can learn.

None of this requires us to destroy the ego.

It is enough to understand the difference between the stories created by our minds and what is actually happening in life.

### A Reflection from the Threshold of Old Age

When I stand at the threshold of old age and look back at the journey of my life, a thought often arises within me.

For so many years, we have spent much of our lives trying to protect an image of ourselves.

We have worried that nobody should underestimate us.

We have wanted our opinions to be accepted.

We have expected the people we love to behave according to our wishes.

But as time passes, a simple truth gradually becomes clearer.

We do not have to fight with others to protect our inner peace.

It is enough to learn not to believe every story our minds create as though it were the absolute truth.

Even when we try to defeat the ego, another form of ego may emerge in the very desire to conquer it!

Therefore, there is no need to rush into destroying it.

When anger arises, let us observe the anger.

When jealousy arises, let us observe the jealousy.

When we find ourselves longing for appreciation, let us observe that longing.

Let us quietly watch the stories our minds keep telling us.

In that observation, a little clarity may emerge.

And in that clarity, perhaps a little peace may be found.

Perhaps the peace we have been searching for is not something new that we need to acquire.

Perhaps it is something that has always been there, beyond the noise of our thoughts.

Like mist trying to hold on to the vastness of the sky, our ego keeps trying to establish itself as something permanent.

But the sky remains untouched by it.

In the same way, our thoughts and emotions may continue to change.

Yet, when we begin to recognise the silent awareness that observes them, we may learn to live life with greater naturalness and freedom.

### A Personal Sharing, Not a Piece of Advice

This is not an attempt on my part to offer advice to anyone.

It is simply a reflection arising from what I have seen, heard and experienced throughout my life, which I wish to share with you.

Rather than fighting to destroy the ego, perhaps the true beginning of liberation lies in awakening from the stories it creates.

With affection,

Sakthi Sakthithasan

The Small Space Between What We Feel and What We Do

The Small Space Between What We Feel and What We Do

Dear friends,

Warm greetings to you all.

Sometimes, from the moment we wake up in the morning until we go to bed at night, our minds keep running without rest.

Someone’s words may continue to trouble us.

We may feel that another person has ignored us.

Something we hoped for may not have happened.

Worries about what tomorrow might bring may keep gnawing at us.

What do we do at such times?

Some of us become angry.

Some snap at others.

Some withdraw into silence and avoid speaking to anyone.

Others replay an incident in their minds over and over again, worrying even about things that have not happened, as though they had already occurred.

Only after some time do we begin to wonder whether our reactions were right.

We regret saying words we should never have said.

We realise that we have unnecessarily hurt someone’s feelings.

Sometimes, we even become angry with ourselves.

At such moments, a question often arises within me.

Are we obliged to react immediately to every emotion that arises within us?

When anger arises, must we inevitably become angry?

When fear arises, must we remain trapped in fear?

When someone hurts us, must we hurt them in return to heal our own wounds?

The answer is no.

Standing at the threshold of old age and looking back on life, this is one of the important truths I have come to understand.

We may not always be able to prevent emotions from arising within us.

But we can gradually develop the ability to decide where those emotions will lead us and how we will respond to them.

It is in this understanding that I see the profound beauty of a concept known as Presence.

### What Does Presence Really Mean?

When we hear the word presence, some of us may imagine a state of constant calmness.

We may think that spiritual growth means never getting angry, never worrying and never allowing anything to disturb our minds.

But true presence is not that.

We are human beings. We experience happiness and sorrow.

We experience love and disappointment. Sometimes we feel hopeful.

At other times, we become frightened when we think about the future.

If awareness meant eliminating all these emotions completely, living such a life would be difficult not only for ordinary people but for anyone.

True presence is not merely being aware of ourselves when our minds are peaceful. It is also being aware of ourselves when our minds are restless and troubled.

Imagine that someone speaks harshly to you today.

Their words stir anger within you. Immediately, your mind begins to say:

“What right do they have to speak to me like this? I must give them a fitting reply!”

What do we usually do?

We respond in the heat of that anger.

But what might happen if, at that very moment, we paused and observed what was taking place within us?

We might recognise:

“I am becoming angry. The way this person spoke has hurt me. My mind is urging me to respond harshly.”

If we can recognise this, a new possibility opens up.

The anger has not disappeared.

The emotional wound has not healed immediately either.

But before anger completely takes over and determines our next action, we have begun to observe ourselves.

That observation is awareness.

And the small space created by that awareness helps us guide ourselves rather than being carried away by our emotions.

### Our Emotions Arise Within Us, But They Are Not Our Entire Identity

Understanding this idea can bring about a profound change in our everyday lives.

We often say:

“I am angry.”

“I am frightened.”

“I am feeling restless.”

It is true that these emotions are present within us. But they do not define the entirety of who we are.

Just as clouds appear in the sky, different emotions arise in our minds.

Some clouds pass quickly.

Others cover the sky for a long time.

Sometimes, a storm may even arise.

But the sky does not cease to exist simply because clouds have appeared.

In the same way, the arrival of anger does not mean that we must remain angry people.

The presence of fear does not mean that we are incapable of facing anything.

A period of sadness does not mean that our entire life has become a failure.

Instead of treating this as a mere philosophical idea, try applying it to your daily life.

One morning, you may wake up feeling low.

You may have no desire to do anything.

Instead of immediately concluding, “I am always like this. Nothing in my life ever goes right,” try asking yourself:

“Today, my mind feels a little weary. How can I treat myself with kindness while experiencing this feeling?”

That one question can change your approach.

Rather than criticising yourself, you might give yourself the rest you need.

You might go for a short walk.

You might listen to a favourite song.

You might open your heart to someone you trust.

You do not have to fight with yourself, demanding that your sadness disappear immediately.

First, acknowledge that it is there.

Then, gently choose what you need.

We cannot always change our emotions according to our wishes.

But we can learn to change the way we relate to them.

### A Moment Between Anger and Response

What often disturbs our peace of mind is not merely what happens to us, but also the immediate reactions we have to those events.

A disagreement may arise between husband and wife.

An argument may develop between parents and children.

Someone at work may criticise our efforts.

A friend may behave in a way we did not expect.

At that moment, the mind immediately begins constructing a response.

“They always behave like this!”

“Nobody respects me!”

“I will never speak to them again!”

An incident that began with one small disagreement can draw in memories of previous incidents and create an elaborate story inside our minds.

A minor problem that occurred only a few minutes ago can rob us of our peace for several hours.

Sometimes, it can trouble us for days.

One simple way to break this cycle is to create a small pause before responding.

That pause may last a minute. Sometimes, even a few seconds may be enough.

During that pause, breathe in gently and breathe out slowly.

Observe what is happening in your body.

Is your heart beating faster?

Are your facial muscles tightening?

Is your voice preparing to rise?

Do not try to change anything immediately. Simply observe.

Then ask yourself:

“Will the words I am about to say help resolve this problem?

Or will they make it worse?”

The answer to this question can often guide us in the right direction.

Sometimes, we may respond calmly.

At other times, we may say, “We are both upset right now. Let us talk about this after a little while.”

In certain situations, we may need to firmly refuse to accept hurtful treatment.

The important point to understand here is that presence does not mean silently tolerating everything.

If someone behaves wrongly, we can point it out clearly.

We can protect our boundaries.

We can make firm decisions when necessary.

But there is a significant difference between doing these things consciously and acting after losing ourselves in the grip of anger.

Suppressing our emotions is one thing.

Learning not to be ruled by them is another.

The first may cause us to suffer inwardly.

The second helps us understand ourselves and respond with greater clarity.

### How Do We Live With an Anxious Mind?

Worry occupies a significant place in our everyday lives.

We worry about our family’s future, our children’s well-being, our financial circumstances, our health, our work and our relationships.

Some worries encourage us to take appropriate action.

But many worries keep us thinking about things beyond our control, even when there is nothing we can do about them at that moment.

We worry tonight about a meeting that will take place tomorrow.

We mentally experience an imagined problem many times before it has even occurred.

Our fear about a loved one’s health may prevent us from being fully present with them, even while they are sitting beside us.

We live in the present.

But our minds keep running into the future, exploring all the things that might happen.

At such times, simply telling ourselves, “Do not worry,” does not necessarily make the worry disappear.

Instead, try asking yourself:

“I am feeling worried right now. Is there a practical reason for this concern? If there is, what can I do about it today?”

If there is something you can do, do it.

If you need to consult a doctor, arrange an appointment.

If you need to organise your finances, sit down and examine your accounts.

If you need to speak with someone to clarify a matter, have that conversation.

But when our minds keep worrying repeatedly about something we cannot do anything about at present, we must recognise that the worry is also taking away the happiness available to us in the present moment.

We do not know what tomorrow will bring.

But there are small, worthwhile things we can do today.

We can speak kindly to the people who live with us.

We can eat the food before us with gratitude.

We can spend some time walking outdoors.

We can read a good book.

We can share a heartfelt laugh with someone we love.

These may seem like small things.

But life is not made up of major events alone.

Our lives are also shaped by the accumulation of these small, everyday experiences.

We need not abandon our concern for the future.

But neither should we lose the present while constantly thinking about the future.

### Happiness Does Not Depend on Everything Going Our Way

Many of us attach conditions to our happiness.

“I will feel peaceful once this problem is resolved.”

“I will be happy if my children behave the way I expect them to.”

“If everyone understood me, I would have nothing to worry about.”

“I can live peacefully only when my expectations are fulfilled.”

In this way, we hand over our happiness to the actions of other people and to external circumstances.

But when we look back on life, one truth becomes clear.

There have been very few days when everything happened exactly as we wanted.

Many unexpected events have occurred.

People we trusted may sometimes have disappointed us.

We may have been unable to follow the path we planned and had to travel in a different direction.

Does this mean that our happiness must always depend on external circumstances?

Can we be happy only when other people change?

Instead of expecting the world to operate according to our wishes, if we begin to observe how we respond to the circumstances life presents to us, we begin to recognise the power that remains within our own hands.

We cannot control the minds of those who ignore us.

But we can learn not to waste our entire day thinking about every action they take.

We cannot force the people we love to agree with all our opinions.

But even when our views differ, we can speak to them with respect.

We cannot command life to keep suffering away from us.

But when suffering comes, we can try not to abandon ourselves.

This is one of the great freedoms that presence offers us.

Happiness does not mean living a life without suffering.

The ability to continue experiencing the love, beauty and peace that remain available to us, even in the midst of suffering, is also part of happiness.

### Before Trying to Understand Others, Let Us Understand Ourselves

We are often quick to judge the behaviour of those around us.

If someone does not speak to us, we assume that they do not respect us.

If someone disagrees with our opinion, we conclude that they are against us.

If someone fails to meet our expectations, we assume that they do not care about us.

But we do not know what is happening in their minds.

They may be struggling with worries of their own.

There may be difficulties in their lives that we know nothing about.

They may have understood our words differently from the way we intended them.

I am not suggesting that we should accept everything others do.

Nor do we need to justify behaviour that hurts us.

But it is wise not to assume that our first impression is the complete truth.

This is closely connected to awareness.

First, we observe the emotion that arises within us.

Then, we examine whether the conclusion we have drawn from that emotion is actually true.

Only after that do we decide how to respond.

When we learn to do this, unnecessary conflicts in our relationships may begin to diminish.

We become better listeners.

We feel less compelled to justify ourselves immediately.

When someone makes a mistake, we may learn to distinguish the action from the person, rather than treating the entire individual as a bad human being.

At the same time, we become more capable of acknowledging our own mistakes.

It takes maturity to say:

“I spoke that way because I was angry at the time. That was not right. Please forgive me.”

Rather than trying to become a person who never makes mistakes, it is far better to become someone who recognises mistakes and knows how to correct them.

This maturity can bring greater peace to our family lives, friendships and workplaces.

### How Can We Practise Presence in Everyday Life?

We do not need to travel to a mountain to practise this.

Nor do we need to abandon all our responsibilities and move to a quiet place.

We can practise presence in the very life we are already living.

When you wake up in the morning, before rushing into the day's tasks and worries, sit quietly for a minute or two.

Observe your breath as it enters and leaves your body.

When thoughts arise, do not try to drive them away.

When your mind wanders elsewhere, simply recognise that it has wandered and gently bring your attention back to your breathing.

Those few minutes are not about making your mind completely free of thoughts.

They are an opportunity to become familiar with how your mind works.

Then, as you go about your daily activities, try to reduce the habit of thinking about ten things at once without fully experiencing any of them.

When drinking tea, notice its taste.

When eating, pay attention to the flavour and aroma of your food.

When walking, notice your feet touching the ground and the sights around you.

When your life partner speaks to you, instead of planning your next reply while they are talking, genuinely listen to what they are saying.

When a child speaks to you, instead of nodding while looking at your mobile phone, give that child your undivided attention for a few minutes.

None of these are great achievements.

Yet they help us gradually move away from the habit of being physically present in one place while mentally living somewhere else.

Most importantly, remember this practice when emotions become intense.

When anger arises, acknowledge, “I am feeling angry.”

When fear arises, acknowledge, “I am feeling afraid.”

When sorrow arises, acknowledge, “I am experiencing sadness.”

This simple awareness of our emotions creates a new path between denying them and allowing them to control us completely.

We will not be able to do this at every moment.

Sometimes, we will speak in anger again.

Sometimes, we will become immersed in worry.

At other times, we will return to our old habits.

We need not criticise ourselves for that.

Recognising what happened afterwards and trying to respond with a little more awareness the next time is itself a form of growth.

What matters is not whether we managed to remain calm throughout the entire day.

It also matters how quickly we recognise that we have lost our calm when it happens.

### Spiritual Maturity Does Not Mean Withdrawing From Life

Sometimes, we imagine that spirituality means reaching a higher state beyond all emotions.

But we can also see the beauty of spiritual maturity in the way we conduct ourselves in everyday life.

It may be reflected in speaking respectfully to someone we dislike.

It may be reflected in patiently explaining ourselves to someone who has misunderstood us.

It may be reflected in acknowledging our mistakes.

When our children choose paths in life that differ from our expectations, spiritual maturity may mean trying to understand them rather than attempting to control them.

When our life partner holds a view different from ours, it may mean not treating that difference as a threat to our love.

None of this means that we will never feel angry.

Sometimes, we will feel hurt.

Sometimes, we will struggle.

Sometimes, we will fail to behave as we had hoped.

But we can try to observe our emotions, understand the needs behind them and act in accordance with the values that matter to us.

This is what it means to live with awareness within life, rather than withdrawing from life itself.

As I see it, spiritual maturity is not about changing ourselves in ways that make others look at us with admiration.

It is about understanding ourselves a little more clearly and becoming people who can offer as much love and peace as possible to those who share our lives.

Practices such as meditation, observing the breath and sitting quietly can help us develop this awareness.

But their benefits become truly meaningful in everyday life when that awareness finds expression in our words, actions and relationships.

If we sit peacefully during meditation but become angry with others over every little thing in our daily lives, it simply shows that we still need to practise bringing our awareness into our everyday conduct.

There is no need to feel inferior because of this.

After all, is not life itself a school of experience that continues to teach us?

### Our Freedom Lies in That Small Space

Standing at the threshold of old age and looking back on life, I find that many of my experiences point towards one important message.

We cannot arrange everything in life according to our wishes.

Unexpected events will occur. Expectations may be shattered. Relationships may become complicated.

We may experience physical and emotional exhaustion.

Some things we deeply desire may never come our way.

But not every event needs to rob us of all our freedom.

Someone may have hurt us.

We may be unable to change what happened.

But we can examine whether we need to keep bringing that pain back to life in our minds and allow it to make our present day miserable as well.

We may have experienced failure.

We cannot erase it.

But we can choose whether to make that failure our entire identity or learn from it and take the next step forward.

Our minds may sometimes produce thoughts that frighten us.

But we are not obliged to believe every thought as though it were the truth and live accordingly.

This is where the true power of that small space between what we feel and what we do becomes evident.

That space is not a place to deny our emotions.

It is a place to understand ourselves.

It is not a place to suppress anger.

It is an opportunity to avoid doing things in the heat of anger that we may later regret.

It is not a place to eliminate fear completely.

It is a place where we can find the courage to do something worthwhile even while fear remains within us.

It is not a place to forget sorrow immediately.

It is a place where we can continue living with our sorrow while remaining open to the love and beauty that life still offers.

Within that small space, we choose who we want to be.

Instead of repeating an old habit, we can choose a new way.

Instead of seeking revenge, we can choose to protect our peace of mind.

Instead of passing judgement immediately, we can try to understand.

Instead of blaming ourselves, we can learn from our mistakes.

None of this will become easy in a single day.

But every time we make a conscious choice, we strengthen our ability to live with greater responsibility and clarity.

This does not mean that suffering will never touch our lives.

It may touch us. Sometimes, it may affect us deeply.

At such times, seeking help, talking to people we trust and giving ourselves the rest we need are also expressions of awareness.

We need not believe that strength means handling everything alone while remaining outwardly calm.

It takes courage to acknowledge our emotions honestly and seek the support we need.

### Dear Friends,

We learn so many things throughout our lives.

We study. We work.

We build families.

We work towards financial progress.

We strive to achieve many things.

Yet, sometimes, we forget to set aside time simply to observe what is happening within us.

When our minds become angry, worried, frightened or disappointed, we often run along with them, allowing ourselves to be carried away.

Let us pause for a moment and look within.

An emotion arises within us.

We become aware of it.

We try to understand it.

Then we decide how to respond.

That is all.

And yet, this simple habit can bring about significant changes in our lives.

It can help us avoid placing our happiness entirely in the hands of others.

It can help us reduce unnecessary arguments.

It can help us nurture love and understanding in our relationships.

It can help us treat ourselves with kindness when our minds feel weary.

Above all, it can help us truly live our lives.

We may not know what tomorrow will bring.

We may be unable to change what happened in the past.

But in this very moment, we can try to recognise what is happening within us and consciously choose how we wish to act next.

If someone hurts you today, pause for a moment before responding.

If a worry overwhelms you today, instead of immediately trying to drive it away, observe what it may be telling you.

If your mind feels weary today, give yourself the kindness you need instead of criticising yourself.

If happiness comes your way today, experience it fully rather than allowing worries about tomorrow to take it away.

Because life is not merely a list of goals we must achieve.

It is also a beautiful journey that we are meant to experience and live, one day at a time.

We may not always be able to decide what arises in our minds.

But we can learn how to live with what arises.

Along that path of learning, let us stop treating our emotions as enemies and begin to understand them.

Let us remain present with ourselves not only when our minds are peaceful, but also when they are restless and troubled.

Because true presence does not mean living a life without storms.

It means becoming aware of what is happening within us even when the storms of life are raging, and consciously choosing the next step we take.

Let us learn to create that small space in our everyday lives.

Within that space lies our clarity.

Within that space lies our choice.

And within that space lies the true power to live with love, responsibility and happiness, without losing ourselves along the way.

You can do it.

With affection,

Sakthi Sakthithasan

The Lessons Life Teaches Us Again and Again!

The Lessons Life Teaches Us Again and Again!

Life is a journey of experience in which we learn something new every day.

From the day we were born until today, we have met countless people. We have experienced innumerable joys and sorrows. We have encountered unexpected successes and disappointments.

Some experiences have lifted us into moments of great happiness. Others have left us sitting alone, shedding tears in silence.

Yet, even after travelling through so many experiences, there is a question we sometimes need to ask ourselves when we look back at our lives.

Why do certain problems keep returning in my life?

We may expect love from someone, only to find ourselves disappointed. We recover from that disappointment. Time passes, and we meet someone else.

Once again, the same expectations, the same disappointment, and the same heartache!

We may experience a situation that deeply hurts us. We eventually move beyond it and begin a new chapter in our lives.

But after some time, we find ourselves facing the same feelings in a different situation.

The people are different. The places are different. The circumstances and times are different.

Yet, the pain we feel within and the decisions we ultimately make seem, in some way, to resemble our past experiences.

At such times, we blame life. We blame the people around us. Sometimes, we even curse our own fate.

But if we sit quietly for a moment and reflect, we may begin to realise that there could be something we have failed to notice behind these recurring experiences.

Dear friends,

I am no scholar, nor am I someone who knows all the secrets of life.

However, having reached the threshold of seventy, I would like to share a few truths I have gathered along the path of life, from what I have seen, what I have heard, and what I have personally experienced.

The lessons life teaches us do not always come through books or through the advice of others.

More often than we realise, they reach us through the people we meet, the unexpected events we encounter, and the disappointments that cause us pain.

Some lessons become clear to us through our very first experience. Others take time to understand. And there are still others that we only begin to recognise when we encounter the same experience again in a different form.

### What Are Our Recurring Experiences Trying to Tell Us?

We cannot say that every event in our lives happens because of our own mistakes.

Nor can we claim that we are responsible for every sorrow we experience.

Some events are beyond our control. Some people's actions are beyond our ability to change. And certain losses cannot be avoided, no matter how hard we try.

But our growth lies in what we learn after these events take place.

Let us consider an example.

Suppose we place our trust in someone and are betrayed.

The experience hurts us deeply. We then decide that trusting people is a mistake.

The next time someone speaks kindly to us, we become suspicious. We build a protective wall around ourselves.

On the other hand, we may fail to learn anything from the experience. We may continue believing people's words without examining their actions, eventually entering another relationship that brings us the same kind of disappointment.

What, then, should we understand from this?

Trusting someone is not wrong. But there must be a relationship between trust and discernment.

Showing love is not wrong either. But we do not have to sacrifice our self-respect in the name of love.

After a bitter experience, we do not need to hate everyone. At the same time, repeating the same mistake without learning anything from our past does not serve us well.

The lesson life teaches us is not that we should distance ourselves from people and live in isolation.

Rather, it may be that we need to understand whom to trust, how much to trust, where to show love, and where to establish boundaries.

### When People Change, Do Our Old Patterns Change Too?

There is a curious truth about life.

Sometimes, we change the people around us. We change our surroundings. We change our jobs. We even try to change our habits.

Yet, we forget to change some of the deeply rooted beliefs and expectations within us.

As a result, although everything outside appears new, we continue living the same old life within ourselves.

Someone who constantly seeks approval from others may feel surrounded by people who never appreciate them.

Someone who believes they must keep everyone happy may continue sacrificing their own wishes and needs.

Someone who is afraid of losing anyone may struggle to walk away even from relationships in which they are not respected.

In such situations, we need to ask ourselves whether the problem exists only outside us.

Let us set aside, for a moment, how the people around us treat us.

How do we respond to their behaviour?

Why do we continue accepting situations that cause us pain?

Why do we hesitate to take the first step towards change, even when we know that change is necessary?

It is only when we begin searching honestly for answers to these questions that a new understanding of our lives starts to emerge.

Sometimes, what we need is not new people, but a new perspective on our old experiences.

Sometimes, what we need is not a new situation, but a new level of maturity in the way we face that situation.

And sometimes, what we need is not a great effort to change our entire lives, but the simple courage to acknowledge the truth without deceiving ourselves.

### Is Life Punishing Us or Guiding Us?

When we repeatedly encounter difficulties in life, it is natural to wonder why these things seem to happen only to us.

We have not deliberately harmed anyone. We have tried to be good people to the best of our ability. We have helped others and tried to preserve our relationships.

Yet, why so many disappointments?

Why so many trials?

Why does nothing seem to happen the way we wish?

We find ourselves asking these questions again and again.

There cannot be a single answer that applies to everyone.

However, we can try looking at things from a different perspective.

If we stop viewing every difficulty as a punishment and begin asking what we might understand from it, our state of mind may gradually change.

There is something important we must understand here.

It does not mean that every suffering we experience has been deliberately sent into our lives to teach us a lesson.

Injustice does happen in life. Some losses have no explanation. Some wounds are not caused by our own mistakes.

But once such experiences enter our lives, we still have an opportunity to choose how we respond to them, how we protect ourselves, and how we rise again.

A failure may help us recognise the truth about our abilities.

A separation may encourage us to reflect on our attachments.

A disappointment may help us reconsider our expectations.

A period of loneliness may become an opportunity to learn how to live comfortably with ourselves.

Not because these experiences are pleasant, but because we may be able to understand something valuable through them.

Life will not always unfold according to our wishes.

But we can develop the maturity to understand what has happened, learn from it, and decide how we wish to live from that point onwards.

### What Does It Mean to Accept a Lesson?

Accepting a lesson does not mean agreeing that everything that happened was right.

If someone hurts us, we do not have to accept that their behaviour was justified.

If we have been treated unjustly, we do not have to remain silent and endure it.

If something has gone wrong in our lives, we do not have to punish ourselves for the rest of our lives because of it.

Acceptance means learning to see what happened for what it was.

It means recognising that we cannot change what has already happened, while understanding that we can change the decisions we make afterwards.

It means acknowledging that a relationship is not bringing us peace.

It means admitting that a particular habit is repeatedly harming us.

It means accepting our mistakes without trying to hide them.

It means accepting what we cannot change and directing our attention towards what we can.

That is true acceptance.

Sometimes, our minds know the truth but refuse to accept it.

Why?

Because accepting the truth may require us to make certain changes.

We may have to walk away from some relationships. We may have to let go of certain desires. We may have to challenge some of the false beliefs we hold about ourselves.

Instead, remaining within familiar suffering may seem easier.

Even pain we have become accustomed to can become strangely familiar to the mind.

Continuing along an old path often feels easier than choosing a new one.

But if we know that the life we are living is not bringing us peace or happiness, yet continue choosing the same path, where will the change come from?

That is why the greatest thing we sometimes need to do in life is not to struggle even harder.

It is to sit quietly and reflect on what we are struggling for in the first place.

### Is Breaking the Cycle in Our Hands?

Imagine someone walking around in a circle. No matter how far they travel, they keep returning to the same place.

Certain experiences in life can leave us trapped in a similar cycle.

The same expectations.

The same fears.

The same anger.

The same stubbornness.

The same decisions.

And, eventually, the same disappointment.

The first step towards breaking this cycle is to observe honestly the experiences that keep recurring in our lives.

In what situations do I feel most emotionally hurt?

What kinds of people do I repeatedly feel disappointed by?

What am I afraid of losing that causes me to sacrifice my peace of mind?

Which habit do I know I need to change, yet continue to hold on to?

Before searching for answers to these questions from others, we should first look within ourselves.

This does not mean that we must turn ourselves into the guilty party.

We do not have to hate our past, nor do we need to spend endless hours regretting the mistakes we have made.

The purpose of this reflection is simply to understand ourselves better.

The decisions we made yesterday may have been appropriate to the knowledge and experience we possessed at that time.

If we have gained a new understanding today, we can make different decisions tomorrow.

That is growth!

Instead of hating ourselves for repeating a mistake, it is more useful to understand why it happened again.

Instead of regretting an old experience endlessly, it is more meaningful to apply the lesson we have learnt to the life we live tomorrow.

When we begin to change, we cannot expect every person around us to change as well.

Nor can we assume that every circumstance will suddenly become favourable to us.

But our decisions can change even when our circumstances do not.

Our reactions can change.

Our boundaries can become clearer. Our expectations can become more realistic.

Then, even if an old experience returns, we will no longer be the same person facing it as before.

That is the moment when the cycle begins to break!

### Let Us Reflect Calmly Rather Than Judge Hastily

In life, we often feel an urgent need to find an immediate answer to every problem we encounter.

Why did this happen?

Who is responsible?

When will things get better?

What should I do next?

Such questions crowd our minds.

But answers to some questions do not come immediately.

Only after time has passed do we begin to understand the true meaning of certain experiences.

Therefore, when our minds are confused, it is often better to remain calm for a while rather than make hasty decisions.

Let us acknowledge our feelings instead of denying them.

Rather than repeatedly revisiting a painful experience and hurting ourselves all over again, let us reflect on what we might learn from it.

Sometimes, what we need to change is not other people, but our understanding of what we expect from them.

Sometimes, what we need to change is not our goal, but the path we have chosen to reach it.

Sometimes, what we need to let go of is not our dream, but the stubbornness that causes us to hurt ourselves in our determination to make that dream come true.

To understand all this, we need calmness and honesty.

Moving forward in life does not always mean running faster.

Sometimes, stopping to look back is also part of progress.

We look back not to remain trapped in the past, but to learn from it and avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.

Dear friends,

Life gives us countless experiences.

Some make us smile. Some bring tears to our eyes. Some lift us higher. Others leave us shaken and uncertain.

But there is one thing we must never forget.

We cannot change every event that has happened.

However, the lessons we learn from those events can help us change our future.

When an experience repeats itself in our lives, instead of asking, “Why does this keep happening only to me?”, let us ask ourselves whether we can understand the experience from a different perspective.

If someone deceives us again, rather than hating all human beings, let us reflect on how we can balance trust with discernment.

If a situation once again takes away our peace of mind, instead of expecting the whole world to change, let us consider whether we can change the way we respond.

If we repeat the same mistake, instead of blaming ourselves, let us try to identify the habit or fear that drives us to repeat it.

Once we truly understand the lesson we need to learn, the way we face the same experience begins to change.

This does not mean that life has suddenly become favourable in every respect.

It means that we begin to understand how to stand firm in the face of life's challenges.

We learn not to place our peace of mind entirely in the hands of others.

We learn not to seek our happiness solely through the approval of others.

We learn to focus on what we can change rather than distressing ourselves over what lies beyond our control.

Age is no barrier to understanding the lessons life teaches us.

Some lessons become clear in our youth.

Others settle deeply into our hearts only when we stand at the threshold of old age.

Even now, after this long journey through life, I am still learning.

Experience is not a sign that we have learnt everything there is to know.

Rather, it is an opportunity to recognise how much more there is for us to learn.

Therefore, let us not resent or reject the experiences that life repeatedly brings our way. Instead, let us seek to understand the thoughts and reflections they awaken within us.

Not to punish ourselves, but to understand ourselves better.

Not to remain trapped in the past, but to shape a better future.

Not to keep going around in the same circle, but to develop the courage to step out of it.

Whether each experience in life becomes a lesson depends on how we understand it.

True growth begins only when that understanding leads to a change in our actions.

When life asks us the same question again, we do not have to keep giving the same old answer.

We can respond with a new understanding, a greater maturity, and a different decision.

That is the real change we can bring into our lives!

With affection,

Sakthi Sakthithasan

Where Does True Power Lie?

Dear Friends,

In life, each one of us seeks power in one way or another.

Some find power in making others behave according to their wishes.

Some expect everything to happen exactly as they want it to.

Still others believe that they can live peacefully only when circumstances are favourable to them.

However, as I stand at the threshold of old age and look back on the experiences of my life, I gradually begin to realise that true power does not lie in making everything happen according to our wishes.

True power lies in learning to preserve the peace within us, whatever may be happening around us.

We do not need to study great philosophical theories to understand this. All we need to do is observe the little things that happen in our everyday lives.

When someone does not speak to us as we expect, we feel hurt.

When something does not happen the way we want, we become angry.

When someone from whom we expect respect ignores us, an inner struggle begins within us.

There is something important we need to notice here.

An event takes place outside us, but the struggle caused by that event continues within us.

Someone speaks harshly to us and walks away.

Yet, we keep replaying their words in our minds, reliving the conversation over and over again.

Something that the other person may have forgotten within a few minutes becomes a burden that we carry for days.

So, what has really taken away our peace?

Was it the person who spoke to us, or the importance we gave to their words?

That is a question worth reflecting upon.

I am not suggesting that we should quietly accept it whenever someone hurts us.

We must speak up when something needs to be challenged.

We must protect our self-respect when it is threatened.

And when necessary, we must have the courage to make firm decisions.

But life has taught me that, even as we do these things, we need not hand over control of our inner state to other people.

We can be firm without being consumed by anger.

We can point out wrongdoing without allowing hatred to grow within us.

We can walk away from situations that harm us without carrying the desire for revenge.

Peace is not weakness.

It is the maturity to understand our emotions and act without becoming their slaves.

It is wiser to focus on what we can change than to sacrifice our peace over things beyond our control.

We cannot stop time.

We cannot change the past.

We cannot make others think, speak or behave exactly as we wish.

We cannot even know with certainty what tomorrow will bring.

But we can decide how we respond to the present day.

We can pause and think instead of reacting immediately in anger to a problem.

Rather than dwelling endlessly on an incident that has hurt us, we can ask ourselves what it has taught us.

When one door closes, we need not stand before it and grieve for the rest of our lives.

We can look for another door that might open.

If that, too, remains closed, we can wait for a while.

Sometimes, we may even have to accept that the path we wanted to follow was not the right path for us after all.

All this requires maturity of mind.

Such maturity does not develop in a single day.

It grows gradually through the experiences life gives us and through the quiet reflection that follows those experiences.

There is a significant difference between external peace and inner peace.

The people we love are with us.

There is happiness in the family.

We face no major financial difficulties.

Our health is good.

Everything is happening as we expected.

Naturally, the mind feels peaceful under such circumstances.

But is that true inner peace?

If an unpleasant piece of news is enough to shatter us, it means that our peace has been under the control of that news.

When someone we trusted betrays us, we may feel that our entire world has come to an end.

When an attempt fails, we may conclude that our whole life has been a failure.

Often, our suffering increases because we confuse a single event in our lives with the entirety of our lives.

A failure is an event. It is not our identity.

Someone's rejection is their decision.

It is not the final judgement on our worth.

A difficult period is one part of life.

It does not mean that life must remain that way forever.

When we begin to understand these differences, our minds gain a little distance from the events taking place around us.

It is in that distance that clarity begins to emerge.

And where clarity emerges, more thoughtful decisions follow.

There is another reason why we experience so much suffering in life.

We create certain rules in our minds about how life should be.

Everyone should understand us.

Those whom we love should love us equally in return.

Our hard work should bring us the rewards we deserve.

Others should understand our good intentions correctly.

Everything should happen according to our plans.

There is nothing inherently wrong with these hopes.

The difficulty begins when we believe that we can be happy only if everything happens exactly as we expect.

Life belongs to us, but not everything that happens in life is under our control.

We can offer love, but we cannot decide how others will receive it.

We can work hard, but we cannot guarantee that every effort will produce the result we desire.

We can do our best to act with kindness, but we cannot expect everyone in the world to behave fairly.

Accepting these truths does not mean admitting defeat.

Rather, it means beginning to understand life as it is.

Acceptance does not mean giving up every attempt to change things.

It means making the necessary effort to change what we can, while refusing to lose ourselves in unnecessary struggles over what we cannot change.

We cannot stop the rain from falling.

But we can carry an umbrella.

We cannot change the direction of the wind.

But we can adjust the sails of our boat accordingly.

Life is much the same.

Circumstances will not always favour us.

But we can grow in the way we learn to face them.

There is another important truth we must not forget.

Being peaceful does not mean becoming a person without emotions.

We may experience sadness.

We may feel anger.

We may face disappointment.

Fear may surround us.

These are all natural human emotions.

There is no true peace in hiding these feelings and pretending to be happy all the time.

True maturity lies in recognising the emotions that arise within us, accepting them and learning not to let them completely take over our lives.

No one can prevent waves from rising in the sea.

Yet, the sea does not lose its depth every time a wave appears.

I believe our minds, too, should learn to be like that.

Let thoughts arise.

Let emotions come and go.

Let life present its challenges.

As we observe all these experiences, let us learn to live without losing the clarity within us.

Sometimes, choosing not to respond immediately is the best response.

Sometimes, a little silence can do more good than a lengthy argument.

Sometimes, protecting our peace of mind is more important than proving that our opinion is right.

We do not have to win every argument.

We do not need to prove ourselves to everyone.

Nor do we have to keep explaining our truth to those who have no desire to understand us.

What matters is how we live our lives.

If we begin to live solely according to what others think of us, we have, in effect, handed over the power over our own lives to them.

When I look back on life from the threshold of old age, this is the truth I am beginning to understand.

We often waste our energy trying to change everything according to our wishes.

But when we allow certain things to remain as they are and concentrate on doing well what is within our power, life becomes a little easier.

Our happiness need not depend entirely on the behaviour of others.

Our peace need not depend solely on whether circumstances are favourable.

We can learn to understand our own state of mind and guide ourselves when necessary.

I believe this is true freedom.

Dear Friends,

Life will not always travel along the path we desire.

Sometimes, it will bring us to a standstill.

Sometimes, it will lead us down unexpected roads.

And sometimes, it will put even our deepest beliefs to the test.

At such moments, instead of fighting against life, let us ask ourselves a few questions.

What can I change in this situation?

What is beyond my control?

How should I respond now so that I will not regret my actions later?

These three questions may bring a little light into our minds.

Peaceful external circumstances may bring us happiness.

But learning to remain calm within ourselves even when a storm rages outside is one of the greatest gifts life can offer us.

Instead of trying to conquer others, let us learn to understand our own anger.

Instead of struggling to defeat every circumstance, let us develop the maturity to face it.

Even if we cannot make every event favourable to us, let us learn to choose our responses with awareness and understanding.

For true power does not lie in changing the entire world according to our wishes.

True power lies in not losing ourselves, even when the world refuses to change according to our wishes.

Let us gradually stop insisting that life must be a certain way and instead try to understand it as it unfolds.

At the same time, let us fulfil our responsibilities, uphold our values and protect the peace within us.

We cannot say that every day of our lives will suddenly become favourable to us.

But we can begin to develop the strength to stand by ourselves and not abandon ourselves, even on unfavourable days.

That strength is our true power!

You can do it.

With affection,

Sakthi Sakthithasan