Life Seen Through Three Mirrors

Life Seen Through Three Mirrors

Every day, countless events take place in our lives.

Some events make us happy.

Some make us angry.

Some make us sad.

Some surprise us.

And some make us form the wrong impression about another person.

But whenever something happens, we often come to an immediate conclusion about it.

“He must have thought like that.”

“He did it deliberately.”

“He spoke that way only to insult me.”

“He doesn’t like me.”

“He doesn’t respect what I say.”

Our mind begins to create many stories of its own.

But the truth is...

Every event that takes place can be seen through three different mirrors.

One is what we see.

One is what others see.

And one is what actually happened.

Understanding the difference between these three is one of the greatest lessons we need to learn in life.

The Mirror of What We See

An event happens in front of us.

We see it with our eyes.

We hear it with our ears.

We measure it through our own experiences.

And according to our state of mind, we give it a particular meaning.

That is the first mirror.

“The truth as I understand it.”

But that does not necessarily mean it is the complete truth.

Because there are limits to what we see.

There are limits to what we hear.

There are limits to the information we possess.

More importantly, our state of mind also influences the way we interpret things.

Suppose someone speaks to us without smiling.

We may immediately conclude,

“He doesn’t like me.”

But perhaps that person was worried about something that day.

Perhaps they were not feeling well.

Perhaps there was a problem at home.

Perhaps their mind was occupied with another concern.

Or perhaps they really were angry with us.

We do not know.

Yet we often make a decision as though we know the truth.

That is the danger of the first mirror.

The Mirror of What Others See

Ask another person who witnessed the same event.

They may describe it differently.

“He didn’t mean it that way. You may have misunderstood him slightly.”

they might say.

Why?

Because the same situation can look different from where another person is standing.

When we look at a person's life from where we stand, it may appear one way.

When another person looks at the same life from where they stand, it may appear completely different.

This is something we often forget.

When two people are involved in an incident, there may be two different stories about that same incident.

In a small family disagreement, the husband may tell the story one way.

The wife may tell it another way.

Parents may see it from one perspective.

Children may see it differently.

Friends may have yet another perspective.

Each person's view is shaped by their own experiences.

Therefore,

thinking that “what I saw is the complete truth” can lead to many mistakes in life.

The Third Mirror — What Actually Happened

Now let us come to the most important mirror.

What actually happened?

This is the third mirror.

It exists beyond our thoughts.

Beyond other people's explanations.

Beyond our anger.

Beyond our preferences.

Truth is truth.

But we cannot always discover that truth immediately.

That is the challenge of life.

A Simple Example

Suppose a friend did not tell us about something important.

As soon as we discover this, we may think,

“He doesn’t trust me.”

Then another thought may arise:

“Perhaps he doesn’t even consider me a friend.”

Sadness develops in our mind.

That sadness eventually turns into anger.

And that anger affects the relationship.

A few days later, the truth comes out.

The reason that friend did not tell us was not because he wanted to avoid us.

He was actually trying to protect us from a problem.

What happens then?

The entire story we had created in our minds falls apart.

Only then do we realise...

The event was one thing.
But the meaning we gave to that event was something else.

This is the confusion we often face in life.

Our Mind Is a Storyteller

Our mind is a great storyteller.

It can take a small event that happened and create an entire story around it.

Someone does not answer our phone call.

That is the only event that actually happened.

But our mind immediately begins saying:

“He is avoiding me.”

“He is angry with me.”

“He deliberately did not answer.”

“He must be talking to someone else.”

And it creates many stories.

But what is the truth?

Perhaps the person's phone was on silent.

Perhaps they were driving.

Perhaps they were sleeping.

Perhaps they were at work.

Perhaps they were unwell.

Or perhaps they genuinely did not want to speak to us.

We do not know which one is true.

Yet we make a decision without knowing the truth.

That is the problem.

Instead of searching for the truth after an event happens, our mind creates its own conclusion.

Hasty Conclusions Can Break Relationships

Many relationships in life do not break because of major mistakes.

They break because of small misunderstandings.

A single word.

A single look.

A phone call that was not answered.

Not being included in an invitation.

Feeling that we did not receive the respect we deserved at an event.

Small things like these can become enormous in our minds.

The real problem is not the event itself.

It is the story we created about the event.

That is why we need to develop an important habit in life:

Not making an immediate judgment.

Let Us Stop Ourselves for “One Minute”

If someone does something that hurts us, let us not respond immediately.

Let us remain silent for one minute.

Let us ask ourselves:

“Is what I saw the complete truth?”

“Could there be another explanation for this?”

“If I looked at this from their situation, how would it appear?”

“Do I really know what happened?”

These four questions alone can help us avoid many unnecessary problems.

Sometimes one minute of silence...

can save a relationship that has lasted for many years.

Sometimes choosing not to say one particular word...

can protect a family.

Sometimes avoiding one accusation...

can preserve a friendship.

A Truth We Understand As We Grow Older

When we are young, we tend to see everything as either black or white.

“This person is good.”

“That person is bad.”

“This is right.”

“That is wrong.”

We make quick judgments.

But as life gives us more and more experiences, we begin to understand an important truth.

Human life is not that simple.

Even a good person can make mistakes.

Even a person who has made a mistake can have a good heart.

Even in someone we do not particularly like, there may be qualities from which we can learn.

Even someone we trust deeply may have a side of their life that we do not fully understand.

Therefore, we should not judge an entire person based on a single incident.

The Lesson Taught by Old Age

When we stand at the threshold of old age and look back at life, many things appear differently.

We think about some of the incidents that hurt us deeply when we were young.

Problems that seemed enormous at that time now appear very small.

Some relationships that we once considered to be filled with hostility now appear to have been misunderstandings.

Some words that we once thought were meant to insult us now seem like advice.

Some people whom we once thought were avoiding us may actually have been struggling with their own problems.

Life teaches us this:

As time passes, the mirror does not change; our perspective changes.

This Truth Is Even More Important in the World of Social Media

In today's world, understanding these three mirrors has become even more important.

Someone writes an opinion on social media.

We read it.

We cannot see their face.

We cannot hear their voice.

We do not know their state of mind.

We do not know their background.

Yet after reading just two lines, we form an opinion about them.

We criticise them.

Sometimes we insult them.

Sometimes we even end relationships because of it.

But do we really know the truth behind those two lines?

No.

That is why, in the age of social media, thinking before responding has become extremely important.

What Does It Mean to Seek the Truth?

Seeking the truth does not mean doubting everything.

Nor does it mean that we should trust no one.

Seeking the truth means understanding:

How much do I know?
And how much do I not know?

We should be able to say,

“This is what I know.”

We should be able to think,

“There may be another side to this.”

And we should also be able to admit,

“I don't know.”

These are not signs of weakness.

They are signs of maturity.

The Mark of a Good Human Being

Responding immediately to everything is not wisdom.

Thinking that our opinion is always right is not wisdom.

Listening to another person's perspective is wisdom.

Accepting that our own conclusion may be wrong is wisdom.

Waiting until the truth becomes clear is wisdom.

And recognising that we misunderstood someone and having the humility to apologise is an even greater form of wisdom.

Our purpose in life is not to win every argument.

What truly matters is protecting our relationships, protecting our peace of mind, and understanding the truth.

Let Us Remember the Three Mirrors

Therefore, whenever something happens in our lives, let us not rush to judgment.

First, let us ask:

The First Mirror —
What do I see?

Then let us ask:

The Second Mirror —
What do others see?

And finally, let us ask ourselves:

The Third Mirror —
What actually happened?

If we learn to separate these three, many unnecessary moments of anger will disappear from our lives.

Many misunderstandings will fade away.

Many relationships will be saved.

We will begin to understand many people in a completely new way.

Most importantly...

we will begin to recognise the moments when our own mind may be misleading us.

Finally...

Life is not merely what we see.

It is not merely the words we hear.

It is not merely the thoughts that arise in our minds.

There may be another truth behind all of them.

To discover that truth, we need patience.

We need a heart that can understand another person's situation.

We need the humility to accept that our own view may be wrong.

After many years of life, one small truth I have come to understand is this:

Everything we see is not the complete truth.

Everything we hear is not the complete truth.

Everything we think is not necessarily the truth.

To discover the truth...

Sometimes we need to think instead of simply looking.

Sometimes we need to listen instead of speaking.

Sometimes we need to wait instead of passing judgment.

Sometimes we need to clean our own mirror.

Because...

The image in the mirror may not change.

But the image we see can change depending on the nature of the mirror.

In the same way, in life...

One event.
Many perspectives.
One truth.

The journey of discovering that truth...

is the journey of maturity.

With love,

You Can Do It.

With affection,
Sakthi Sakthithasan