Life's Setbacks May Not Be Meant to Turn Us Away, but to Guide Us Towards the Right Path!

Life's Setbacks May Not Be Meant to Turn Us Away, but to Guide Us Towards the Right Path!

In life, each one of us waits and hopes for something.

Every individual has a dream. We may wish to secure a good job, buy a house in a place of our choice, find the person we wish to share our life with, see our children settle down successfully, or achieve success in an effort we have undertaken. We carry many such hopes, dreams and expectations in our hearts as we journey through life.

But life does not always unfold the way we expect it to.

Sometimes, something we have eagerly looked forward to simply does not happen. Certain efforts come to a halt at the very last moment. Some opportunities come our way, only to slip away for reasons beyond our understanding. At other times, just when we believe everything is going according to plan, an unexpected change takes our entire life in a different direction.

At such moments, our hearts are filled with disappointment and pain.

Why did this happen?

Why am I the one facing this obstacle?

Why have I not succeeded despite trying so hard?

These are questions we often ask ourselves.

Some begin to blame their own efforts. Others complain about their bad luck. There are also those who become discouraged, believing that life itself is working against them.

But one truth I have come to understand through my own experiences is that not getting what we hoped for does not necessarily mean that we have failed.

Sometimes, the path we wish to take may not be the path that is truly right for us.

Just because a door we wanted to open remains closed, we should not assume that every door in life has been shut.

### When One Door Closes...

We can find many examples of this in the everyday lives of ordinary people.

Imagine a young man who has completed his education and dreams of joining a particular company. He spends several months preparing for it and making every possible effort. He attends the interview and comes away feeling that everything has gone well. But then comes the disappointing news that he has not been selected.

How disappointed would that young man feel?

He may wonder why the opportunity he wanted so much has slipped away.

However, instead of losing heart, he begins looking for other opportunities. Some time later, he secures another job, which turns out to be an even better opportunity to demonstrate his abilities, gain new experiences and progress in life.

When he looks back one day, he may even wonder why he was so distressed about not getting that first job.

The door that closed that day did not bring his life to a standstill. Instead, it led him towards a path he had never considered before.

Something similar may have happened in one form or another in each of our lives.

A marriage we hoped for may not have materialised. A friendship with someone we trusted deeply may have come to an end. A business we had been running for many years may not have progressed as expected. We may have been forced to leave a place we dearly loved and move somewhere else.

At the time, all these experiences would have felt like great losses.

But when we look back after some years, we may begin to understand that certain decisions and circumstances actually saved us from difficulties we could not have foreseen.

Therefore, when an opportunity slips away, we should not immediately conclude that life itself has rejected us.

### Delay Is Not Punishment!

One of the things that tests us most in life is the waiting period.

When the good news we have been expecting does not arrive on time, our minds become restless. When we see everyone else moving forward, we sometimes feel as though we alone are standing still.

Imagine someone who has been working hard for many years with the dream of building or buying a home of his own.

Because his income is limited, fulfilling that dream takes longer than expected.

Many of his friends and classmates have already bought their own homes and reached a certain level of comfort in life. But he has not yet managed to do so.

It is natural for him to feel disappointed.

However, there is little benefit in comparing his life with that of others and looking down upon himself.

Every individual's journey through life is different.

An opportunity that comes to one person need not necessarily come to another at the same time. The speed at which one person progresses cannot become the measuring scale for another person's growth.

Sometimes, while we are waiting for something we desire, life may actually be preparing us with the experience, maturity and understanding needed to handle it responsibly when it finally comes.

We cannot expect a plant to blossom the day after we sow it.

We have to water it, care for it and give it time. Only then will it grow and eventually flower.

Human life is no different.

We must continue making the efforts that are within our reach. Just because the results are taking longer than expected, we should not abandon our efforts.

### Some Decisions Come to Set Us Free!

In life, there are certain relationships, habits, jobs and desires that we hold on to very tightly.

Even when they no longer bring us happiness, we find it difficult to let them go. Sometimes, simply because we have been accustomed to them for many years, or because we worry about what others might think, we resist making changes in our lives.

But holding on to everything forever is not what life is about.

Certain relationships may continuously disturb our peace of mind.

Some friendships may become obstacles to our personal growth.

Certain jobs may restrict us so much that we are unable to express our true abilities.

When the time comes for us to step away from such situations, it may initially feel like a loss.

But if, after some time, we find ourselves breathing more freely and living with greater peace of mind, we begin to understand how necessary that separation was.

Only when we step out of something that has kept us confined within a small circle can we begin to see the new opportunities and experiences waiting for us.

Therefore, we should not look upon every ending as a loss.

Some endings simply create space for new beginnings.

### Everything We Desire May Not Necessarily Be Good for Us!

There is a simple truth here that we need to think about.

What we desire is one thing. What is truly good for us is another.

A child may want to eat only the sweets it likes. But parents who care about the child's health will also provide the nutritious food it needs.

They do not believe that love means fulfilling every single wish of the child.

In the same way, we too develop strong desires in life. We sometimes believe that if only we could achieve a particular dream, our lives would become complete.

But we rarely think about the difficulties that might follow if that particular desire were fulfilled.

There are people who believe that every event in life happens for a reason. Some also believe that a greater force, beyond our understanding, guides our journey.

I do not dismiss such beliefs.

However, we should not simply attribute everything to the will of the universe and stop making the efforts that are expected of us.

We must do whatever is within our power. We must fulfil our responsibilities sincerely. At the same time, we must develop the maturity to accept whatever results follow.

When things do not happen according to our wishes, instead of fighting with life, the real maturity lies in asking ourselves what we can learn from the experience.

### Do Not Look Upon Unexpected Changes as Enemies!

Sometimes, changes arrive in our lives without our permission or willingness.

People who were once very close to us may move away. We may have to leave a place where we have lived for many years. We may be forced to change a way of life to which we have become accustomed.

It is natural for such changes to unsettle us.

But there is one thing we need to understand. Change is a natural part of life. Nothing remains the same forever.

Something that brought us happiness yesterday may not bring us the same happiness today. An experience that seemed unnecessary yesterday may turn out to be extremely valuable today.

Therefore, when unexpected changes come our way, instead of immediately resisting or disliking them, we should prepare ourselves to face them.

Even within a change that we do not particularly welcome, there may be a new experience waiting for us.

It may also provide an opportunity for a talent within us, which we never knew existed, to come to the surface.

Accepting change does not mean agreeing to everything that happens.

It means learning to change what is within our control and peacefully accept what is beyond our control.

### Do Not Lose Yourself While Waiting!

When something we have been expecting does not happen, we often spend all our time thinking about that one disappointment.

When will it happen? When will things change? When will better days finally arrive in my life?

We keep waiting for answers.

But in the process of waiting, we fail to realise that we are losing the life we are living today.

We tell ourselves that we can be happy only when we get a good job tomorrow.

We believe that we can have peace of mind only when we own a house.

We convince ourselves that life will become successful only when we reach a particular goal.

If we continue living with the belief that happiness will come only when something happens in the future, we end up losing the happiness that is available to us today.

Making good use of the day we have been given is itself a great achievement.

Speaking lovingly with our family, sharing our thoughts with friends, carrying out the work entrusted to us honestly, looking after our physical and mental well-being, and helping others whenever possible — there are so many little joys hidden in our everyday lives.

We must learn to appreciate and experience them.

We do not know what tomorrow holds.

But we do know what we can do today.

Therefore, while waiting for tomorrow, let us also learn to live today's life with love and gratitude.

### Trust Life... And Believe in Yourself!

Standing at the threshold of old age and looking back at the journey I have travelled, I realise that the meaning we give to many events in our lives today is often very different from the meaning we gave them when they first happened.

Some incidents that brought tears to our eyes back then have now become valuable life experiences.

Certain decisions that once made us feel disappointed have given us a new understanding of life today.

Some opportunities that we thought we had lost have eventually led us towards different and better experiences.

I am not saying that every difficulty in life happens only for our own good.

Some losses genuinely cause deep pain.

Some separations leave wounds that take a long time to heal.

Some failures can affect us for many years.

But what I wish to say is that we need not allow those painful experiences to bring our lives to a standstill.

We cannot change what has happened. But we can change the way we look at what has happened.

We may not always be able to recover what we have lost.

But we can learn a lesson from that experience and continue our journey along a new path.

We cannot confidently say that every door that closes in our lives will always be followed by another opening.

But neither is there any need to stand in front of a closed door and spend the rest of our lives grieving over it.

Let us continue our efforts. Let us not lose our faith and confidence.

Let us change our direction wherever necessary.

Let us correct our mistakes.

And where patience is required, let us learn to be patient.

Once we develop the maturity to accept that we cannot make everything happen according to our wishes, many of life's burdens will begin to feel lighter.

Finally, there is just one thing I wish to say.

Just because we have not received what we expected from life, we should never assume that our journey has come to an end.

Sometimes, the path that life takes us along may offer experiences that we would never have discovered had we continued along the path we originally wanted.

We may not know where that new path will lead us today.

But if we continue our journey without abandoning our efforts and our faith, we will be able to learn something valuable from every experience.

There is a beautiful maturity not only in receiving what we desire, but also in accepting what we could not obtain and finding the strength to continue living.

Let us not merely count what life gives us. Let us also pay attention to what life teaches us.

Because sometimes, what life refuses to give us may be just one particular thing.

But what it offers us in return could be a new experience, a fresh understanding, or an opportunity to discover our own true selves.

Let us continue our journey with that faith.

Without allowing yesterday's disappointments to rob us of today's happiness, let us live the present with love and look towards tomorrow with hope.

With affection,

Sakthi Sakthithasan